Self-care suggestions to help you forget the deep-rooted cause to all your life’s problems.
There are 151 days until I graduate from college. What does that mean? Three separate capstone classes? A dwindling number of weekends to participate in girls’ nights/girls’ mornings complete with Brugger’s Bagels runs? A bank account that continues to scream, “Please! Stop! Spending! Money! On! Food!”? The thought that I’ll be living in my parents' house for the next five years or that I’ll be attending the next three weddings I have sans a plus one? WELL. If you are running into any of these problems in your life as well, let me be the bearer of great news. We, as a society, looooove talking about, comparing, or burying our problems! But! There is a solution. Fear not.
I'm sure you've heard of the concept of ~ self care ~. You’ve probably seen it as the top story trending on Twitter. Or Target’s self-care section, stocked to the brim with bath bombs, matcha flavored chapstick and of course, the paper face mask. How invigorating. I’ve done you the favor of coming up with some foolproof solutions to all your deeply-rooted, chronic and all-overwhelming problems.
1. You're worried about your finances post-graduation
This one gets everybody. Rent. Utilities. Car payments. Student loans. Commuting fees. To start a 401k or Roth IRA? Don’t know what the fuck either of those mean? Worry about that too. If you check your bank account every hour on the hour, shrieking when you see the less-than-ideal balance, here’s your number one way to ‘self-care’ this problem under the rug. Don’t look! If you don’t know how little you have, you won’t have to think about how close you are to nothing! If anything! Spend more! Girl, treat yourself! You’ve been doing absolutely mediocre work lately, and wasting time re-watching Sex and The City even though you’ve seen it four times (I'm naturally a Carrie, if you're wondering), you deserve an hour-long massage and a mani/pedi combo.
2. You're failing a class you absolutely need to graduate college
Econ? Who needs it! You’re an art major. The economic system isn’t relevant to you in the slightest - as long as you stay in this mindset you can skate right through to graduation. D’s get degrees right? Here’s your plan moving forward. You have an exam early next week. Let's say Monday morning. Lots of pressure. It’s Thursday night. Your essentials to cram: flashcards, the quizlet some guy you slept with freshman year made that you randomly found and a bottle or two of your favorite bottom shelf Chardonnay for you and your roommate to split. Girls’ time counts as #selfcare. Gossip is absolutely essential to retaining any information - this is a study tip. So grab the solo cups for wine and start spilling the tea, sis.
3. The flood of engagement photos on your timeline is making your chronic loneliness wash over you like the end of the world even though you’re only twenty-two years old and this is completely normal
Ah, the classic, all of my friends from home are engaged and the one girl I had history with in high school is pregnant AGAIN and I have four weddings this summer; should I be getting married now? Am I too late? Is my prince charming engaged to someone else? Should I wait for him? Should I wed myself to the business and bury myself in work until I turn into an evil New York corporate bitch at 60-years-old? A classic case. If not more emphasized in the holiday spirit of gift-giving and ice skating and everything else that could be totally normal to do by yourself but is now deemed a ‘couples activity’. You know what this calls for? Facemasks!!!! Nothing cures the overwhelming and anxiety inducing feeling of loneliness, like some generic facemask you found in the checkout line at Walgreens. Only 79 cents? Someone’s looking out for you, baby. You get home and the ingredients are completely in Chinese? Can’t read a thing? Who cares! Slap that girl on, ignore the burning sensation and pour yourself a bottle of vino while you watch more Sex and The City. #selfcare bitch.
We all have our problems. Some more front page than others. In the heat (or lack thereof) of the holiday season, they can feel more overwhelming than ever. Do yourself the favor of sitting down one night, looking at them head-on, and let's face it, dealing with them. A lavender face mask from Target can be a nice pick me up after a long day of work but is a pathetic excuse for ‘self care’. You deserve more than a sale-priced face mask your coworker gave you after she forgot about the office secret Santa.
Xoxo, S Samantha Miller (@samantharachelmiller) is a freelance writer from Chicago. She prides herself on her scary pulse on internet culture, her growing record collection and the amount of coffee she can consume before combusting. Follow Samantha Miller's work on Linkedin, and sign up for updates on her blog.
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